That’s the question to ask about almost anything: Is it worth it? Today it is a Monday morning, and I’m on the edge of responding “NO!” The problem I am having is not just a leak, it’s a gushing waterfall…at least in my mind at this moment. I worry the cure will be worse than what ails me, i.e., it is going to cost money I don’t want to spend.

It’s not about being a quitter. It’s not about giving up. It’s not about being a diva and throwing a tantrum when things don’t go my way. I’m frustrated and can’t even hear myself think. The self-talk I’m having covers both sides of an argument, and it goes something like this:

  • You don’t need this stress. Chalk it up to “tuition paid” and move on.
  • This is a choice, so you can choose something else.
  • There is a LOT you don’t know! Just because you don’t know why this is happening doesn’t make you stupid.
  • It’s just money. I know you’d rather spend it on something else besides technology services, but fixing this can get you more money.
  • It was a good idea once, and it still is, if you still want it. If you don’t know if you want it, then spend some time on that first.
  • What is good about this stupid problem with the stupid computer?
  • Who can help me get this figured out, since I obviously can’t do it myself?

Luckily, I was smart enough to use one of my Monday Morning Lifelines, and I chose the one who knows the most about not just computers, but my website. Even though she is in a different time zone and it is earlier there, I still need to get the *#!@ thing working, so I’ll risk the early morning interruption.

That was a good call on my part, especially because she was able to get me where I need to be right now, which is on the page that allows me to write, edit, and publish this post. We’ve spent several months discussing changing up my website to make it more… engaging? interactive? useful?? I wanted to move my (free) personal blog over to the (paid) website. We discussed how to position the website for this change, as well as to update the site and open up some other opportunities for expanding the scope of my services.

But you know how the knee bone is connected to the thigh bone? Well, it’s also connected to the elbow somehow, and today the knee did not want to bend so the arm hurt. Figuratively, I mean; I kept getting a 404 error message when I tried to log on after going live last night. When you touch one thing, you touch another. Once you open that door, all kinds of things start looking shabby or need to be supported to make the changes work. Ugh. Over an hour spent trying a half dozen passwords, to no avail. Couldn’t go forward, couldn’t go back. And I’m burning daylight.

This isn’t just about computers and websites, though. This is life. Everything we do affects the next thing, whether we know it, or acknowledge it, or accept it. Which is why I have to remember that supporting myself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially is as important as everything else. Sometimes problems go away like water under the bridge, even after it has felt like a waterfall pounding over the rocks a few minutes ago.

It turns out that another cup of coffee, a phone call, and a deep breath or three work wonders for me. When I slowed down and focused on whether the likely solution would me closer to my goal or away from it, I retreated from “NO!” to “Probably,” with a small sigh.  It turns out it was money well spent, as I even learned a little something that can help me in the future.

I hope you enjoy the updated website. There is more to be done, but it doesn’t all need to be done right now to be live. I do think it is going to be worth it in the long run. I’m going to keep pulling myself back in when I get to close to the edge, and I’m going to keep tweaking the little things because they hold the big things together.